Today’s an interesting day for your humble humorist. It’s the Big Game, and for a second year my team, the New England Patriots, isn’t playing.
This year my team didn’t even make the playoffs. Hell, the Pats didn’t even have a winning record this year. We kind of sucked.
So who do I want to see win today? What I want to happen and what I think will happen are two entirely different outcomes. I’d love nothing more than Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs make today the last stop on the Tom Brady Retirement Tour.
But then yesterday I got a really uneasy feeling watching Sam Raimi’s “The Quick & The Dead.”
If you’ve not seen the film, it’s a western set in a fictional town where a Mr. Herod, played by Gene Hackman, holds an annual quick draw gunfighting tournament.
Spoilers follow.
In the film, the Kid (Leonardo DiCaprio) challenges Mr. Herod to a duel hoping a win will finally earn Herod’s respect to a degree where the villainous tournament organizer will admit he’s the Kid’s illegitimate father.
Herod, after briefly reminding the Kid what he’s getting into, guns the young man down with a single shot. The Kid, stunned, utters, “That was faster than I expected” with his dying breath.
As the Kid dies, surrounded by throngs of female fans, Herod mentions something about his mother being a woman of ill repute before going on about his day.
So as much as I want to cheer the Chiefs to victory, I can’t. I see too much of the Kid in Mahomes and Herod in Brady.
Patrick Mahomes is incredible. He’s definitely the NFL’s next big star. He’s young, charismatic, ridiculously gifted and a great pick as the face of the league.
Tom Brady left New England and took Tampa Fucking Bay to the Super Bowl. Did anyone other than Brady himself actually see this happening? The NFL’s Stepford Wife got to the big dance after establishing his outlaw crew in another territory.
Mahomes has an opportunity for his second Super Bowl ring. The only problem is getting that ring requires him to beat the guy many argue is the greatest quarterback of all time.
And there’s the experience factor. Today is Patrick Mahomes’ second Super Bowl. For Tom Brady, it’s another Sunday at work.
I really want Mahomes and the Chiefs to win. The little voice inside me that’s usually right when I listen just keeps telling me today’s not the day they earn Tom Brady’s respect.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone! Enjoy and no matter what, let’s all have a good laugh at the expense of all parties involved so this week starts somewhat bearable!
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