Sheriff Roy Templeton was in a grumpy mood. Of all the weeks for his wife to try and get him to quit coffee, this was the absolute worst. Instead of a delicious hot cup of black coffee, the Sheriff found himself drinking a mushroom extract tea tasting as if it were strained with a smelly athletic sock.
His rumblings over the disgusting brew were interrupted by a knock on his office door. It was his right-hand man, Deputy Ernesto Miranda, holding the one thing the Sheriff wanted more than anything else: a mug of coffee.
“Morning, Sheriff.”
“It will be when I’m not looking at that coffee mug, Deputy. What’s got you bothering me this morning?”
“Big Ed and Stan Cocke got picked up last night. They’re in holding cells.”
The Sheriff looked at Miranda with eyebrow raised. “Is the arresting officer in the building?”
“Deputy Glazer’s still at his desk with the paperwork, Sheriff.”
“Send him to my office, please.”
Deputy Ross Glazer was a transfer from Dismal Seepage, Arkansas. A touch clueless, he had a reputation for being a straight shooter and was well liked.
“What called you to the Cocke Farm, Deputy?” began the Sheriff.
“Domestic Disturbance call, Sheriff. We got word a fight was going on the Cocke chicken farm, so I investigated.”
“What did your investigation uncover?”
The Deputy’s eyes widened. “I swear it looked like a war zone, Sheriff! There were broken tables and boards everywhere. I saw a caved-in trash can and a stop sign bent in half! A hole was even punched through a camper on the property!”
“And how were Big Ed and Stan when you found them?”
“Both displayed signs of a physical altercation, Sheriff. Ed and Stan Cocke were on the ground clutching their ribs, moaning in agony. The patriarch was over both men asking if they were ‘good.’ In between moans of pain and gasps for air, both men answered ‘Yes sir.'”
“Did you inquire about Old Man Cocke?”
“I did not, Sheriff. SOP for a domestic is to detain the involved parties, right?”
“What did George Cocke say when you arrested his boys?”
“That he was coming with bail money, Sheriff.”
Sheriff Roy stood. “Deputy, you’re going to arrange for the release of Big Ed and Stan Cocke. You’re going to call George and tell him no bail is needed and to come get his boys. I want all of you in Conference Room A when this is finished.”
“You got it, Sheriff.”
About an hour later, Sheriff Roy stood in Conference Room A with Deputy Glazer, the two massive Cocke siblings and George Cocke all cramped into the room.
The Sheriff was the first to speak to the bruised Cocke brothers.
“Boys, y’all good? You get it out of your system?”
“Yes, Sheriff,” Big Ed groaned.
“Chicken?”
“Yes, Sheriff” gasped Stan Cocke.
Sheriff Roy turned his attention to the elder Cocke next. “Your boys clean that shit up before my man took them into custody?”
“Hell naw Sheriff!” George sputtered in a vaguely Cajun accent. “Dem boys was about to get to cleanin’ until your man showed up!”
“Sorry for the trouble, Mr. George. You and your boys are free to go. There will be no charges.”
Sheriff Templeton turned his attention to Deputy Glazer next. “You’re new, so I’m not going to fault you on this arrest. You see, the Cocke boys get into an argument every now and then and the only way they can settle it is a fight on the family farm. Old man George keeps it clean and then separates his boys when they finish fighting it out.”
“My guess is you got what city folk call a ‘Karen,’ trying to nose her way into Cocke family business. You get a call like that again, just go check out the place and see if Mr. George has it under control first. We clear?”
“Yes, Sheriff,” nodded Deputy Glazer.
“Good.” With that, the Sheriff produced a roll of garbage bags and a box of rubber gloves.
“You’re on community outreach today, Deputy Glazer.” Shoving the items into the Deputy’s hands, the Sheriff addressed his deputy and the Cocke brothers.
Boys, get to stepping. You heard what George Cocke said, so consider this a lawful command from the Sheriff of Mud Lick: Y’all go clean that shit up.
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