Hey everybody! Did you miss your humble humorist over our little break? I sure missed all of you. I’m currently slammed with work this week, but I couldn’t let an opportunity by to tell y’all a couple of jokes that haven’t caused Dr. S to roll her eyes clean out of her head.
A nun gets into a cab.
The driver says “Sister, I want to ask you a question, but I’m afraid I might offend you.”
“When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun for as long as I have, you don’t get offended, dearie,” replies the nun. “Ask away.”
The cab driver laughs nervously. “Well, the thing is, I always wondered what it would be like to kiss a nun.”
“I can help you with that on two conditions,” the nun says. “You have to be single and you have to be Catholic. Do you meet that criteria?”
“As a matter of fact I do!” exclaims the happy driver.
The nun tells the driver to pull into a nearby alley and proceeds to give him a kiss of the kind love stories are written over.
Our cab driver is happy at first, getting back on the road, but then becomes very sad. “Sister, I must confess my sins,” he says. “I lied. I’m actually married and Jewish.”
“That’s okay,” says the nun. “My real name’s Ken and I’m going to a costume party.”
An old blind Marine walks into an all-ladies bar.
When the Marine sits down at the bar, he yells to the bartender, “Want to hear a good blonde joke?”
The entire bar falls silent at this.
Next thing the Marine knows, there’s a feminine yet husky voice behind him.
“Mister, before you tell that joke there’s a few things you should know. First, the bartender is a blonde with a baseball bat. Second, the bouncer is a blonde with a sawed off shotgun pointed right at you. To your left is a blonde three-time kickboxing champion. To your right is a blonde professional wrestler, and I’m a blonde professional mixed martial artist.
Now, knowing all that, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?”
“Not if I’m going to have to explain it five times,” replies the Marine.
That’s all for this week, folks! I’ve got a really wild story for you next time, so come back soon. Have a fantastic weekend, and remember: no matter how bad your week’s been, at least you didn’t start it calling American Airlines customer service representatives lying sacks of shit!
(Even though they are, but like I said…that’s a story for next time.)
Godspeed and Party On, everybody!
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